The Philosophy of BDSM

"We tend to think of the erotic as an easy, tantalizing sexual arousal. I speak of the erotic as the deepest life force, a force which moves us toward living in a fundamental way." - Audre Lorde

"'Come to the edge', he said.
They said, 'We are afraid'.
'Come to the edge', he said.
They came.
He pushed them...
And they flew." - Guillaume Apollinaire

"A riding crop and a blindfold doesn't make it BDSM. There is a big difference between being kinky and being in the scene. It's not a sexual thing to me, it's a very spiritual thing." - DominaBlue

"You are no one's slave, dog, slut, or sub until you give them that right. Only you can give it. No one can take or assume it without your permission." --Jack Rinella

"BSDM is an erotic art which does not require conventional sex acts to explore and practice. That's my philosophical story, and I'm stickin' to it." - Elizabeth

"For me, the goal of any of the BDSM activities is to break barriers and boundaries, sending me into a more primal, raw erase the civilized conventions and attain that connection, space, where there is no skin, no outer layers, but simply raw primal emotion." - Stacey

"Chains of steel will rust with time chains of the heart will only grow stronger" -Unknown

"There's nothing either good or bad ... but thinking makes it so!" - William Shakespeare

"Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability...nothing deepens intimacy like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed, with our skins off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is there with us, willing to share in the scary stuff" - From The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt

"It doesn't matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you don't do it in the street and frighten the horses." - Mrs. Patrick Campbell, in Daphne Fielding, The Dutchess of Jermyn Street

"In a sense, you will find that it does not matter what stance you take in bondage and discipline games. Either role done well transcends into the other, and to be done well both require trust." - Lady Ravinia

"Who's to say that love needs to be soft and gentle?" -Dr. Twardon in Secretary (2002)

"Pain is life, the sharper, the more evidence of life." - Charles Lamb

"Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being true to it is far, far greater." - Nicholas Evans, The Horse Whisperer

"D/s is filled with similar paradox's. Such as Pain/pleasure. Enslavement/freedom. A circular and connected balance to exist between apparent opposites." - Master Nik




"Ultimately, the purpose of a flogging is to inflict pleasure. " - Mitch Kessler

"I’ve always been into it in fantasy going way back, and in practice taking what I could, playing around the edges of vanilla relationships. What I’ve come to realize about myself is that I cannot be happy without a strong D/s, s/m element in my lover. I feel to deeply with it for me to try to patch together a relationship, no matter how loving, without having it. So, realizing that I got involved. Started on a path to become the kind of man who can be trusted to Top a woman cleanly and with passion, and tried to find partners for whom my roles, fantasies, my dominant and sadistic nature is not an undesirable or merely tolerated inconvenience, but an asset, something prized and sought. " - Master Foxx

"Everyone is a potential naked slave to you once you become a trainer." - Anne Rice

"The eye of the master will do more work than both his hands." - Benjamin Franklin

"Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac." - Henry Kissinger

"For me, D/s is a graded endeavor. There are definitive levels of achievement. There is an unacceptable level of performance. Effort is not enough to make the grade." - Sir C

"It's the submissives that show to others what type of Dom owns them." - Anonymous

"Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves need to do what they are told." - Unknown

"Without discipline, there's no life at all." - Katharine Hepburn

"You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked a clear question." - Albert Camus, "The Fall"

"No kind of sensation is keener and more active than pain it's impressions are unmistakable." - Marquis De Sade

"Love well, whip well." - Benjamin Franklin

"When you think night and day and every moment only of pleasing me, things will be very easy for you." - Anne Rice, The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty

The Master is an artist , His slave the clay, with the whip He will shape her , with humility He will mold her, Some will admire her, But only the Master, not even the slave, will know her true beauty, for her true beauty lies in her love for her Master. -J. Yednak-

"Since the dawn of time, they have brought us pleasure, they are our loves, our wives our slaves" -Unknown

"You don't love a slave because she is beautiful, she is beautiful because You love her." -Unknown

"A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has not overcome them." - Carl Jung



"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling all that I am capable of doing but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding." - Anais Nin

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"i can't get all involved in what is 'protocol' and what is not... good grief, relationships are hard enough... i frankly just prefer to please my partner and follow his lead, regardless of what it is... isn't that what D/s is, after all?" - Stacey

"A slave's life is mostly composed of patience and study. Yes, study. If not with actual books, then following the example of greater, senior slaves. Or learning every nuance of their owner's character, so that they can more completely and seamlessly offer themselves at the right time and in the right manner." - Laura Antoniou

"There are a hundred ways to kneel and kiss the ground." - Rumi

"Remind me of my place. If I cry, give me a reason, show me no mercy. Force me to my knees and use me as you will." --Slave's prayer

"If loving you makes a slave of me, then I'll spend my whole life in chains." - Sophie B. Hawkins

"I'm not averse to being tied up - I like a man to take charge. There's something very sexy about being submissive." - Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria

"No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness." - Anais Nin

"If you want to kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel."
Mysterious Ways- U2

"And painful pleasure turns to pleasing pain." - Edmund Spenser, "The Faerie Queene"

"A 'working' bottom--one who is actively putting the Top's 'work' to joyful use--has liberty where he or she imagined limits." - Joseph W. Bean

I have fallen to my knees unable to rise, what kind of trap is this? What kind of chains has tied my hands and feet? It is so strange, so wonderful this helplessness of mine -- Rumi

"You have to get past the pleasure stage, until you reach the stage of tears." - Pauline Reage, The Story of O

"I want to put myself absolutely at your mercy for good or evil without any condition, without any limit to your power." - Leopold von Sacher-Masoch

"I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy." - Rabindranath Tagore

"Do not be like servants who serve their masters expecting to receive a reward; be rather like servants who serve their master unconditionally, with no thought of reward." - Antigonus of Sokho

"Bottoms have appetites that are their own, whereas slaves' needs become the same as those of the Master." - Guy Baldwin

"The very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly to Your service; there resides, To make me slave to it; and for Your sake..." - William Shakespeare

"no woman truly knows what she is, until she has worn a collar." -Unknown

"In one way or another I've always suffered. I didn't know why exactly. But I do know that I'm not so scared of suffering now. I feel more than I've ever felt and I've found someone to feel with. To play with. To love in a way that feels right for me. I hope he knows that I can see that he suffers too. And that I want to love him."
-Lee in Secretary (2002)

"Masochism is a valuable job skill". -- Chuck Palahniuk




"Chain of command: I say it. You do it! End of chain."

"There WILL be pain involved . . . But only if you ask nicely"

"32 flavors and not one of them vanilla."

"I am sorry but the safe word is not "I forgot the safe word.""

"There is good pain, and there is really good pain."

"You would look great in tears"

"Who needs cable? Rope is strong enough."

"Don't torture yourself . . . that is my job."

"I tried self-restraint once, but I couldn't close the forth handcuff."

"It is all fun and games, then someone gets spanked."

"I only hurt you because I love the way you scream my name."