The Philosophy
of BDSM
"We tend to think
of the erotic as an easy, tantalizing sexual arousal. I speak
of the erotic as the deepest life force, a force which moves
us toward living in a fundamental way." - Audre Lorde
"'Come to the edge', he said.
They said, 'We are afraid'.
'Come to the edge', he said.
They came.
He pushed them...
And they flew." - Guillaume Apollinaire
"A riding crop and
a blindfold doesn't make it BDSM. There is a big difference between
being kinky and being in the scene. It's not a sexual thing to
me, it's a very spiritual thing." - DominaBlue
"You are no one's slave, dog, slut, or sub until you give
them that right. Only you can give it. No one can take or assume
it without your permission." --Jack Rinella
"BSDM is an erotic art which does not require conventional
sex acts to explore and practice. That's my philosophical story,
and I'm stickin' to it." - Elizabeth
"For me, the goal of any of the BDSM activities is to break
barriers and boundaries, sending me into a more primal, raw connection...to
erase the civilized conventions and attain that connection, space,
where there is no skin, no outer layers, but simply raw primal
emotion." - Stacey
"Chains of steel will rust with time chains of the heart
will only grow stronger" -Unknown
"There's nothing either good or bad ... but thinking makes
it so!" - William Shakespeare
"Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability...nothing deepens
intimacy like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed,
with our skins off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is
there with us, willing to share in the scary stuff" - From
The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt
"It doesn't matter what you do in the bedroom as long as
you don't do it in the street and frighten the horses."
- Mrs. Patrick Campbell, in Daphne Fielding, The Dutchess of
Jermyn Street
"In a sense, you will find that it does not matter what
stance you take in bondage and discipline games. Either role
done well transcends into the other, and to be done well both
require trust." - Lady Ravinia
"Who's to say that love needs to be soft and gentle?"
-Dr. Twardon in Secretary (2002)
"Pain is life, the sharper, the more evidence of life."
- Charles Lamb
"Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at
all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly
the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever
the pain, because the pain of not being true to it is far, far
greater." - Nicholas Evans, The Horse Whisperer
"D/s is filled with similar paradox's. Such as Pain/pleasure.
Enslavement/freedom. A circular and connected balance to exist
between apparent opposites." - Master Nik
DOMINATION
"Ultimately, the purpose
of a flogging is to inflict pleasure. " - Mitch Kessler
"Ive always been into it in fantasy going way back,
and in practice taking what I could, playing around the edges
of vanilla relationships. What Ive come to realize about
myself is that I cannot be happy without a strong D/s, s/m element
in my lover. I feel to deeply with it for me to try to patch
together a relationship, no matter how loving, without having
it. So, realizing that I got involved. Started on a path to become
the kind of man who can be trusted to Top a woman cleanly and
with passion, and tried to find partners for whom my roles, fantasies,
my dominant and sadistic nature is not an undesirable or merely
tolerated inconvenience, but an asset, something prized and sought.
" - Master Foxx
"Everyone is a potential naked slave to you once you become
a trainer." - Anne Rice
"The eye of the master will do more work than both his hands."
- Benjamin Franklin
"Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac." - Henry Kissinger
"For me, D/s is a graded endeavor. There are definitive
levels of achievement. There is an unacceptable level of performance.
Effort is not enough to make the grade." - Sir C
"It's the submissives that show to others what type of Dom
owns them." - Anonymous
"Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves need to
do what they are told." - Unknown
"Without discipline, there's no life at all." - Katharine
Hepburn
"You know what charm
is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked a clear
question." - Albert Camus, "The Fall"
"No kind of sensation is keener and more active than pain
it's impressions are unmistakable." - Marquis De Sade
"Love well, whip well." - Benjamin Franklin
"When you think night and day and every moment only of pleasing
me, things will be very easy for you." - Anne Rice, The
Claiming of Sleeping Beauty
The Master is an artist , His slave the clay, with the whip He
will shape her , with humility He will mold her, Some will admire
her, But only the Master, not even the slave, will know her true
beauty, for her true beauty lies in her love for her Master.
-J. Yednak-
"Since the dawn of time, they have brought us pleasure,
they are our loves, our wives our slaves" -Unknown
"You don't love a slave because she is beautiful, she is
beautiful because You love her." -Unknown
"A man who has not
passed through the inferno of his passions has not overcome them."
- Carl Jung
SUBMISSION
"I do not want to
be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly
and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always
over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work,
his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't
mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically;
but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I
don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling all
that I am capable of doing but I am going to be pursued, fucked,
possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding."
- Anais Nin
"Thou art to me a
delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"i can't get all involved
in what is 'protocol' and what is not... good grief, relationships
are hard enough... i frankly just prefer to please my partner
and follow his lead, regardless of what it is... isn't that what
D/s is, after all?" - Stacey
"A slave's life is
mostly composed of patience and study. Yes, study. If not with
actual books, then following the example of greater, senior slaves.
Or learning every nuance of their owner's character, so that
they can more completely and seamlessly offer themselves at the
right time and in the right manner." - Laura Antoniou
"There are a hundred
ways to kneel and kiss the ground." - Rumi
"Remind me of my place.
If I cry, give me a reason, show me no mercy. Force me to my
knees and use me as you will." --Slave's prayer
"If loving you makes a slave of me, then I'll spend my whole
life in chains." - Sophie B. Hawkins
"I'm not averse to
being tied up - I like a man to take charge. There's something
very sexy about being submissive." - Desperate Housewives
star Eva Longoria
"No one but a woman
in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness." - Anais
Nin
"If you want to kiss
the sky, better learn how to kneel."
Mysterious Ways- U2
"And painful pleasure
turns to pleasing pain." - Edmund Spenser, "The Faerie
Queene"
"A 'working' bottom--one who is actively putting the Top's
'work' to joyful use--has liberty where he or she imagined limits."
- Joseph W. Bean
I have fallen to my knees
unable to rise, what kind of trap is this? What kind of chains
has tied my hands and feet? It is so strange, so wonderful this
helplessness of mine -- Rumi
"You have to get past
the pleasure stage, until you reach the stage of tears."
- Pauline Reage, The Story of O
"I want to put myself
absolutely at your mercy for good or evil without any condition,
without any limit to your power." - Leopold von Sacher-Masoch
"I slept and dreamt
that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted
and behold, service was joy." - Rabindranath Tagore
"Do not be like servants
who serve their masters expecting to receive a reward; be rather
like servants who serve their master unconditionally, with no
thought of reward." - Antigonus of Sokho
"Bottoms have appetites that are their own, whereas slaves'
needs become the same as those of the Master." - Guy Baldwin
"The very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly to Your
service; there resides, To make me slave to it; and for Your
sake..." - William Shakespeare
"no woman truly knows
what she is, until she has worn a collar." -Unknown
"In one way or another I've always suffered. I didn't know
why exactly. But I do know that I'm not so scared of suffering
now. I feel more than I've ever felt and I've found someone to
feel with. To play with. To love in a way that feels right for
me. I hope he knows that I can see that he suffers too. And that
I want to love him."
-Lee in Secretary (2002)
"Masochism is a valuable
job skill". -- Chuck Palahniuk
QUIPS
"Chain of command:
I say it. You do it! End of chain."
"There WILL be pain involved . . . But only if you ask nicely"
"32 flavors and not one of them vanilla."
"I am sorry but the safe word is not "I forgot the
safe word.""
"There is good pain, and there is really good pain."
"You would look great in tears"
"Who needs cable? Rope is strong enough."
"Don't torture yourself . . . that is my job."
"I tried self-restraint once, but I couldn't close the forth
handcuff."
"It is all fun and games, then someone gets spanked."
"I only hurt you because I love the way you scream my name."
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